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One, two and then comes three

I suppose every mother gets sentimental around the time of their child’s birthday. What the hell am I even saying I think ANY mother is pretty much sentimental when simply looking at their child, a little bit of heaven that carries a piece of their heart. Miss M’s birthday is fast approaching and I every […]

Mind over matter

Sitting on the couch, after eating what feels like double my weight in delectably divine food, there’s a tad of despair that this year is drawing to a close. With about 4 days left until 2018 I feel a bit flurried as to what to do?

Do I; “make the last few days count”?

Do I; “slug along and start again in 2018?”

As much as I want to stand on the roof top and be that person to shout from the top my lungs to live every single second and end 2017 with the biggest bang ever, I am not THAT person, I am however going to say this;

How about just being mindful?

Mindfulness

  1. noun
    1. the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.
    2. “their mindfulness of the wider cinematic tradition”
    3. a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

How about for the next few days we stop overthinking?  What if we stop looking for the perfect Instagram picture, or thinking about the perfect tweet or caption for that picture and just be. Be conscious and aware and then of course keep practicing this through 2018. (Yes I know it probably sounds like I’ve stepped out of the early 90’s but was it that bad?)

We love to say that you only live once and that time is such a cruel mistress or bed fellow {or what ever time is referred to.} Yet we wish it to pass and then on top of that we tend to waste it on the most obscure things. I am in no way one to talk, I spend way to much time on my phone and even when I am not on my phone I have the lingering thought at the back of my mind about what is going on on my phone.

In a time where it’s never been easier to be connected, we have never been more disconnected. We cherish the people on our phones, we speak to the “crowds” who listen with eager anticipation at whatever our keyboards spew onto their screens and praise every word as if it is a religion.

We are the brainwashed generation too wrapped up in our little smart devices to realize that there is a world outside.

Now don’t get me wrong, as with anything in life there is a time and place for everything. There are bloggers and brand influencers as well as enthusiasts that work very hard at what they do, and do it brilliantly. Yet there is a very fine, yet distinct line that needs to be drawn.

Let’s be more mindful the last few days of 2017 and carry this into 2018. The world needs more present people (and less techno zombies)

 

Reflecting

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As we draw closer to the end of the year we (maybe it’s just me) we start to make lists/resolutions for the new year.

Me, well I mostly try and figure out what happened that I find myself in December of 2016 already, it was January like yesterday.

Anyhow along with lists and reflections we tend to place all our mishaps under intense scrutiny and judgement. 2016 has by no means been easy, but we easily look over the good things we’ve accomplished.

One of my New Years resolutions is always to lose weight, I also tend to beat myself up quite badly when that doesn’t pan out the way I want it.

I have come across a few people hating on themselves for not accomplishing great things this year.

Today I want to say, stop sweating the small stuff. Yes some of it is not always small. But look at what you have achieved.

You’ve made it through 2017 alive. You are here? You might not look the way you want but you’ve grown. You’ve become stronger, you’ve got to know yourself a little better. If you are a mother you’ve had the privilege to spend another year with your child(ren).

So yes, I might not have lost the weight I wanted. I might not have saved as much as I intended and my debt is pretty much still a black hole sucking my soul dry but what have I achieved?

I am happy, for the first time in almost 3 years I am happy. Yes I am still on medication but my dosages hasn’t increased. My psychiatry appointments are every 6 months and I actually laugh at my appointments instead of sobbing through the session.

My husband is still my rock, my safety and sanity. He still takes my breath away and is the one person that can make me laugh at things a little more than what is socially acceptable.

I have seen my daughter blossom into a little human that has so many unique traits while at the same time exhibiting so many of my own (and the husband’s) She teaches me so much daily and I overlook that so easily.

I have made peace with my body. (This has been a bitter pill to swallow) I have realized that self love is crucial before any change will come.

I’ve learnt that journaling and exercise can be a saving grace. Meditation is way underrated and sometimes you just need to take a nap.

So yes this year my resolutions will include all the usual but I will also be focusing a lot more on the nice.

xCx

Social media and parenting

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This has been something that has been weighing on my heart heavily, and I am not going to lie to you, technology and social media scares the shit out of me. It has been a concern even before I had a child but after the events that took place this past week, I am back […]

LIFE WITH A TWO YEAR OLD

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It’s five pm and I am counting down the hours until “wind down time” aka bedtime. One more hour until I can give her supper followed by some loose entertainment before we hit the bath.

Routine, routine, routine. I’m a sucker for timelines. Everything must have a time and a place. That is my coping mechanism, I am not a perfectionist but I thrive on routine. I’m not your spur of the moment kind of girl, and regrettably my sense for adventure is getting less as my age number is getting higher.

My little human is a full two years old now (a little older but who is counting) and she is more adventurous than ever. Her attitude is pretty much “I don’t give a damn about your silly timelines woman, let me do what I want to do and let me do it now.”  Yes I am a mother. I am a lot of other things as well, many wonderful magnificent things but in my daughter’s mind I am just a mom. So here I am, quite desperately trying to tame the wildness that is this beautiful little human.

 

She is wild and free and lives pretty much for the now, no consequences, no outlook for the future, all that matters is this moment, here .

So what I have seen so far is that with two comes a voice, a very strong opinionated voice. This voice is also quite selfish at times, which is to be expected as she is entering the egotistical phase of her development.

In all honesty it is exhausting, especially at 2h30am when she wants to pet her toy poodle, or is adamantly looking for a stuffed animal that you know you hid somewhere to make sure she doesn’t get it. These 2 year olds have memories like elephants, you can’t make promises and hope they forget by tomorrow, oh no, it’ll come back and bite you in the ass. Little gargoyles I tell you. (yes you read correctly I did compare my child to a stone figure that sits on top of church towers, demon sounded a bit harsh)

But it is also magical, a kind of magic that is beautiful to witness and just wants to make you cry-the weeping might also just be exhaustion but I will leave it at that. Magic that moulds and develops right in front of your very eyes.

Do I think my daughter is more special than any other two year old? Of course I do, she is my kid. However I can vouch that almost every mom feels like this, and that almost every toddler goes through this.

One of the greatest things I’ve learned from my little human is patience. Patience has always been my achilles heel, I’ve never been able to just stand watch someone do something wrong over and over again. Papa Coombes will be able to affirm this-I planned our wedding all by myself, and made most of the things myself. (I am pretty damn stubborn as well) That is just one of many examples I can think of now.

So as my little human is learning with her little brain (with mammoth capabilities) she also wants to help, constantly, with everything. And it’s anything from cooking to cleaning to getting dressed, she wants to either try or just do it herself. As much as all of this annoys me at times-my lack of patience does still want to stick its ugly head out-that look of accomplishment is just so rewarding, so satisfying and make it worth every second it took longer.

I am going to end with a quote by James Lucas Scott;

“All you can do is your best, okay?”